53 Comments
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Sojournerorstay's avatar

I mean. I totally get it:-)

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David Grenache's avatar

Nicely stated. Nostalgia can bring up lots of emotions. A very human experience.

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Sameer Prabhavalkar's avatar

Glad that both you and Paul moved to Lisbon 😊.

In a larger sense, many of us are enjoying a better quality of life when we move to Portugal. We have a much larger and a tighter community here. Of course, we miss our California life, but in general, being in Portugal has helped us appreciate simpler & less materialistic things in life, and follow the passions we always wanted to pursue, for example, travel.

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

Sameer - thanks for your comment. You have a good perspective on life in Portugal. Glad we're part of it! - CW

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Bonnie Sachs's avatar

great post. given the 'current state of affairs', i regret not having tried out a move a bit further than santa fe. (we do love it here. took to it well). oh well, won't dwell.

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

Bonnie - Thanks for your comment. Santa Fe seems to suit you. As for the rest of the 'current state of affairs', we're all hopeful that this too, shall pass. Stay well! - CW

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Alex Hill's avatar

I am currently back in California visiting. While I may have owned more physical space here, I have more mental space in Portugal. So much has happened in these past 6 years in Lisboa that I have been privileged to have experienced. My current regrets are things like a a not-so-great bottle of wine, but that can be quickly remedied!!🙂

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

Thanks for your comment, Alex. You know that you're always welcome to sample the wines in our wine refrigerator until you find one you like! Safe travels and hope to see you when you get back to PT! - CW

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Tricia Conover's avatar

Carol. I loved this newsletter. Life has so many chapters. All can be good or sad. But savoring the present is so important. I think you are doing that. Cheers, Tricia

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

Trish - thanks for your comment. I appreciate it! - CW

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Ellen Lowell's avatar

Dear Carol, Loved that you put it all “out” there, for everyone to read.

I am originally from Upstate NY and we have traveled back and forth since childhood, the older I get the more I miss it.I am content here in RI, we travel a bit but not as much as we used to as, we are losing our travel companions, illness, etc., but that’s ok we really don’t want to travel like we used to I think probably because of the craziness in this world. We have a summer home in Wells, Maine - 1/2 mile back from the ocean and that satisfies our travel needs lately.

Jimmy and I do like to go out to eat quite often with and without friends, depends of everyone’s plans. I am quite content spending time with my kids and my one granddaughter soon to be 16, also I have one brother here, no other family in RI for me.

From reading your posts it seems to me you enjoy a regular life, just not in the US, but you seem to do the same sorts of things we do just in a completely different place.

Enjoy everyday !!!!

Ellen

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

Ellen - thanks for your comment. It is not always easy for me to write about personal feelings, but I truly believe this is part of my journey - sharing the good and not-so-good aspects of life abroad. We live a fairly normal life in Portugal - much like you do in RI and Maine, although we do have plans to travel to other parts of Europe while we can. Hope that you enjoy every day as well! - CW

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Chuck's avatar

Carol, this is refreshingly wonderful. Yours is a great spirit, and hope we get to meet one day. Keep carrying on.

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

Chuck - thanks for your comment. Not sure how great my spirit is, but I'll take the compliment! No choice but to keep carrying on. Hope to see you in Portugal sooner than later! - CW

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Chuck's avatar

Me, too! And don't sell yourself short. What may only seem like a small ray of light to you may be a big sunbeam for someone else!

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Susan's avatar

Dear Carol , believe me you touched so many thoughts l have often! We often wish we had not left Colorado but when l reflect on all that the move has given us , l have to be happy. The wonderful friends we have made and now miss two of them all the time.

We have experienced the closeness of Carlsbad in California and enjoy it every summer. I have to accept the negative things like increasing heat, etc. I have to make myself get over the anxiety of aging and what the future might be. Thanks as always to a dear friend!❤️

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

Susan, thanks for your comment. You and G. are two of the people we miss in Arizona! No one knows what the future holds whether you're younger or older. I am allowing myself to enjoy the moments I have with people I like being with and places I like to explore and letting the rest take care of itself. P.S....It's really HOT here right now as well - makes me think of Arizona (without the scorpions). - CW

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Susan Niemann's avatar

The older I get, the less I need. I crave experiences now, more history, more photo opportunities.

I'm dipping my toes in the water with a 6 week trip to Spain soon. I can sit and read all about a move out of the US, but until I actually feel it and see it I cant logically make the leap. Though the US is worse every day making it easier to want to leave. I always appreciate your essays!! I learn something every time!

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

Susan, thanks for your comment. I agree with you! I feel like I am just beginning to experience what life is supposed to be like - curiosity, experiences, needing less and enjoying the simple things more. I think a 6-week trip to Spain is a great idea to see if it's a good fit for you! Keep me posted on how things go! - CW

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Barb Smith's avatar

Always delighted to have you along to share in the joy of discovery!!

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Barb Smith's avatar

Always love your posts! While I do not live abroad at this point in time, and I am not certain I ever shall, I do love Portugal and I do love travel. Perhaps I am different in that I have lovely memories of wherever I have been in life and whomever I have connected with and befriended. I don’t know that I find myself especially nostalgic for past moments or experiences or people. Rather I tend to think of my life as a rich tapestry of people, places and experiences as I move through the story that defines me. As the eldest of three, I am the most adventurous, the most curious, the least serious, the most visual with regard to artistic endeavor and the least likely to sit still for long. My siblings and I were all well-educated and all had successful careers and I am forever grateful for every opportunity life has given to me. I am grateful for the good memories, for the places I have been, the friends I have made and known and loved, the lessons learned, and the struggles that forced me to experience personal and professional growth. But I seem to remain ever eager for more- the next beautiful dewy sunrise, my next discovery of a new place, a surprise encounter with someone I have known for 35 years but have not seen in 20, that spontaneous cup of iced coffee on a blazing hot day on a back gardenpatio in the shade just blocks from the sea and that soft light of evening that brings a candy cane sky with a sunset so vibrant and beautiful I am required to pinch myself to verify the reality of my great good fortune to experience the fullness of the here and now.

And, you- Carol and Paul- are a thread in that tapestry, a moment in that story just as clear and vibrant as all the others creating the vast richness that I call my life. Thank you for that gift of joy- a gift of light that keeps on giving.🥰

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

Barb - thank you for your lovely, thoughtful comment and for your friendship. I so enjoy your travel photos and look forward to each new one! It is like I am on the adventure with you! - CW

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Gregory Garretson's avatar

Thank you for sharing these thoughts, Carol. I find that I miss all of the places I have ever lived for one reason or another, but I'd say that the fact that I'm not there anymore doesn't point to any failure on my part. Life is a journey, and I wouldn't want it to be otherwise. But I sure wouldn't mind some good old New England seafood right now...

My essay tomorrow is going to be about another "what have I done" aspect of living abroad: having to speak a language imperfectly. So this was nicely timed for me. 😊

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

Thanks for your comment, Gregory. It is true that life is a journey and I am happy to be experiencing this part of it. I look forward to reading your post tomorrow. - CW

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Michelle Lester's avatar

Thank you for sharing these more vulnerable feelings that often get buried in the ‘fanfare’ that can accompany ‘life abroad’ writing. It’s so reassuring to know that I’m not alone in mourning aspects of what I’ve left behind, and I absolutely agree with another comment here about just sharing language, culture, humour - just ‘getting it’ when ‘it’ for a certain kind of British person (disgruntled, left-wing, still wishing everyone could just be kind to each other!) is really special. It sounds as though you are making your peace, in a very level-headed yet still heartfelt way 😊

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

Thanks for your comment, Michelle. I often get the feeling that my readers think I am living a wonderful, carefree life in Portugal with no worries. So, I decided to write this post because I am not always happy and carefree, which I believe is a normal feeling wherever you live. I am happy to know that we share similar feelings. - CW

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Michelle Lester's avatar

It landed at an appropriate time for me 😊

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Michelle M's avatar

Perfeito. My husband and I are moving into our beach condo next week and I was having similiar thoughts (that pesky cabeca!) We have been here a year, renting an apartment with no heat, a butane tank for hot water and no clothes dryer. We also had a home in the Northeast that was a grand old Victorian with a beautiful garden (my husbands love). Nostalgia for some things, mostly around family, yet we don't miss the upkeep a 3-story home with front and back staircases. And yes, we have adapted. Appreciate this timely post.

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

Thanks for your comment, Michelle. I am happy to know that you have adapted. Best wishes with your move to the beach condo! - CW

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John B Howard's avatar

Your reflections sound very familiar. We lived in Boston for a very long time, moving to Arizona for work and staying five years before taking new jobs in Ireland (we later retired to France). I miss mostly regional food--seafood in Massachusetts, southwest cooking (and ingredients) from AZ (we worked at ASU and lived in Scottsdale). We did lots of outdoor grilling too! My wife sometimes evokes recollections similar to yours.

But early on, the differences in everyday life in Ireland made us also reflect on the costs of "living larger" in the US: homes are smaller in Ireland; costs for petrol and heating oil much higher; we wasted far less since food and other consumer goods use less packaging materials, etc. We started living more responsibly simply because the differences we observed guided our decision-making. We haven't owned a car since leaving the US, though we'll hire one when we want to escape into the countryside. There are trade-offs, but I think we feel better about the smaller life we lead in Europe than the bigger life we left behind. But that's not the same as having regrets.

You're right, you have every right to keep fond past memories, and to build new ones as well.

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Carol A. Wilcox's avatar

John - thanks for your comment. I am happy that my "living larger" days are over, although I do think about them (obviously) from time to time. As I grow older (not necessarily wiser), I am finding that I am enjoying the simpler life here in Portugal. And lately, Paul and I have been questioning whether we really need a car here. Maybe after a few more planned road trips, we will reconsider. I am still growing and learning and I appreciate your kind words of support. - CW

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