Obrigado eu! Lovely, heartfelt insight Carol. When I first moved to Portugal, and started helping others to do so, it never occurred to me that people might leave. Naïve I know.
So well said. I've lost so many friends to "back home" while living here in Thailand. I keep in touch with them but it's not the same over the phone. I hope you will get to see them again one day! But it's also a beautiful sentiment that you can smile because it happened. :)
This resonates so much for me. I’ve lived in Amsterdam for nine years, and the cycle of all your friends moving away every 3-4 years is very real. I went through a period where I was pretty depressed about it, and didn’t even feel like trying to make new friends. I’d moved around internationally a lot before this, so I’d always been the leaver, not the one being left.
One of my goals for the new year is to really prioritise friendships and relearn the joy of taking the risk of becoming friends, even if people might move away. Because you’re right, it absolutely is worth it.
Ron and I moved to Portugal (Lagos in the Algarve) nearly 3 years ago. From our short time here, I'm seeing that those Americans who decide to return to the U.S. are often feeling the pull because of their kids – or new grandkids (I'd be interested in knowing the percentage of returnees for this reason).
I also moved permanently several times in my life…the hardest part besides saying goodbye has always been not knowing whether you will visit again or see them again…the poignant feeling is still there even now just going on a vacation trip somewhere…🩶
@εAs an "army brat", my family moved nearly every year when I was young. A person I worked with once told me that military kids learn to say goodbye at a very early age. I agree! When I first went to French school at age 12, I was astonished to hear fellow students say "see you in September!" at the end of the school year. They weren't moving?!
Ahh my good friend. Thank you so much for the lovely tribute about friendship. It is hard to believe that we are now separated by an eight hours time change and 8,367 km. When I'm eating my oatmeal you and Paul are enjoying your cocktail hour. I appreciate all your kind words. Thank you for not telling the world about my faults. Until we meet again...
Faults? What faults? You two are great and we'll miss you! Every time we use the table wedge (and we use it a lot), we'll think of you. And every time we used a "certain swear word" we'll know that you might be saying it, too. Thanks for your beautiful note-it was waiting in our mailbox when we returned from the Azores.🤗
I love this post as well as the fact that you have written it with such grace. In my life, I have moved nearly 40 times. Sometimes it was for school, sometimes it was for work and sometimes it was an opportunity to live in a place I loved. My family wasn’t close and I have no children. But the people I have met along the way and the places I have lived and shared with others have made my life rich. My friends live all over the world and although I don’t see them all very often, we do keep in touch and we do manage to connect on occasion. Sometimes I think I see life differently than people with deep family connections. Many people come and go through the doors of my life, taking what they need and giving what they can. Those moments seem like seconds of a lifetime but they always last long enough to warm my heart. My life has been, and continues to be, a wonderful journey and I value and treasure each and every place and person that has enriched my time on earth.
We have a parallel experience. Our eldest daughter and son-in-law recently moved from Cape Town to Lisbon. Since my wife & I live on the outskirts of Cape Town, we often saw them and are very close.
Later today the two of us are traveling to Europe to go see them, see where they think of buying property, and spend some time with them and his parents.
Then we’re off to discover the southern third of Portugal, to see if there’s anywhere the two of us may want to stay for longer periods of each year. In other words become swallows.
We won’t want to relocate, as we love our country and specifically our home in a private nature reserve too much.
A poignant salute to friends who enrich our lives, even if not forever. Thank you for the stats on returnees--I get so weary reading the '50% return' comments on FB.
One of the things we love about our small town Vila Real de Santo António, in the SE corner of the Algarve on the border to Spain, is the feeling of family here. Familial the locals call it. The grandparents playing an important role in raising the grandchildren, picking them up from school, occupying them during the long summer vacation, being an important part of their lives. The way it was once upon a time in America when the nuclear family was still the norm. The relationship to family is often underestimated when making the decision to move abroad. As Joni Mitchell sang, You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. Your friends, who obviously adore exploring and new experiences, have made a momentous decision, returning to the fold, to nurture and be part of their family’s legacy. To end the state of feeling transient. A beautiful decision.
Obrigado eu! Lovely, heartfelt insight Carol. When I first moved to Portugal, and started helping others to do so, it never occurred to me that people might leave. Naïve I know.
So well said. I've lost so many friends to "back home" while living here in Thailand. I keep in touch with them but it's not the same over the phone. I hope you will get to see them again one day! But it's also a beautiful sentiment that you can smile because it happened. :)
This resonates so much for me. I’ve lived in Amsterdam for nine years, and the cycle of all your friends moving away every 3-4 years is very real. I went through a period where I was pretty depressed about it, and didn’t even feel like trying to make new friends. I’d moved around internationally a lot before this, so I’d always been the leaver, not the one being left.
One of my goals for the new year is to really prioritise friendships and relearn the joy of taking the risk of becoming friends, even if people might move away. Because you’re right, it absolutely is worth it.
This is a lovely post and I love that Dr Seuss quote ❤️
Ron and I moved to Portugal (Lagos in the Algarve) nearly 3 years ago. From our short time here, I'm seeing that those Americans who decide to return to the U.S. are often feeling the pull because of their kids – or new grandkids (I'd be interested in knowing the percentage of returnees for this reason).
Having said that, with the election behind us, we are wondering if we'll be seeing an uptick in Americans moving here. I've sent this piece to a few people I know who have adult kids under 35: https://www.portugal.com/moving-to-portugal/portugals-bold-move-to-attract-talent-at-home-and-abroad-10-years-of-tax-relief-and-new-housing-incentives-for-under-35s/
I also moved permanently several times in my life…the hardest part besides saying goodbye has always been not knowing whether you will visit again or see them again…the poignant feeling is still there even now just going on a vacation trip somewhere…🩶
@εAs an "army brat", my family moved nearly every year when I was young. A person I worked with once told me that military kids learn to say goodbye at a very early age. I agree! When I first went to French school at age 12, I was astonished to hear fellow students say "see you in September!" at the end of the school year. They weren't moving?!
Very sweet story ;-)
Still think of you often.
Ahh my good friend. Thank you so much for the lovely tribute about friendship. It is hard to believe that we are now separated by an eight hours time change and 8,367 km. When I'm eating my oatmeal you and Paul are enjoying your cocktail hour. I appreciate all your kind words. Thank you for not telling the world about my faults. Until we meet again...
Faults? What faults? You two are great and we'll miss you! Every time we use the table wedge (and we use it a lot), we'll think of you. And every time we used a "certain swear word" we'll know that you might be saying it, too. Thanks for your beautiful note-it was waiting in our mailbox when we returned from the Azores.🤗
I love this post as well as the fact that you have written it with such grace. In my life, I have moved nearly 40 times. Sometimes it was for school, sometimes it was for work and sometimes it was an opportunity to live in a place I loved. My family wasn’t close and I have no children. But the people I have met along the way and the places I have lived and shared with others have made my life rich. My friends live all over the world and although I don’t see them all very often, we do keep in touch and we do manage to connect on occasion. Sometimes I think I see life differently than people with deep family connections. Many people come and go through the doors of my life, taking what they need and giving what they can. Those moments seem like seconds of a lifetime but they always last long enough to warm my heart. My life has been, and continues to be, a wonderful journey and I value and treasure each and every place and person that has enriched my time on earth.
We have a parallel experience. Our eldest daughter and son-in-law recently moved from Cape Town to Lisbon. Since my wife & I live on the outskirts of Cape Town, we often saw them and are very close.
Later today the two of us are traveling to Europe to go see them, see where they think of buying property, and spend some time with them and his parents.
Then we’re off to discover the southern third of Portugal, to see if there’s anywhere the two of us may want to stay for longer periods of each year. In other words become swallows.
We won’t want to relocate, as we love our country and specifically our home in a private nature reserve too much.
A poignant salute to friends who enrich our lives, even if not forever. Thank you for the stats on returnees--I get so weary reading the '50% return' comments on FB.
One of the things we love about our small town Vila Real de Santo António, in the SE corner of the Algarve on the border to Spain, is the feeling of family here. Familial the locals call it. The grandparents playing an important role in raising the grandchildren, picking them up from school, occupying them during the long summer vacation, being an important part of their lives. The way it was once upon a time in America when the nuclear family was still the norm. The relationship to family is often underestimated when making the decision to move abroad. As Joni Mitchell sang, You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. Your friends, who obviously adore exploring and new experiences, have made a momentous decision, returning to the fold, to nurture and be part of their family’s legacy. To end the state of feeling transient. A beautiful decision.
Thank you for sharing this poignant and thoughtful reflection on life’s hellos and goodbyes and treasured moments.